How to accept Jesus Christ as your Savior
More One Line Thoughts
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I just got lost in thought. It was an unfamiliar territory.
42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99% of all lawyers give the rest a bad name.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and then used against you.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Remember half the people you know are below average.
Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Change is inevitable except from vending machines.
Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!
Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
I tried snorting Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!