How to accept Jesus Christ as your Savior
Life's Important Questions
If a Smerf held his breath until he passed out, what color would he turn?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why isn't the word "phonetic" spelled the way it sounds?
Why is the word abbreviation so long?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If a cow laughed would milk come out her nose?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?.
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
What is the speed of dark?
When you're sending someone Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?
How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
What's another word for synonym?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
Where are Preparations A through G?
Are there Seeing Eye humans for blind dogs?
If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
If all the world is a stage, where does the audience sit?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing nightgowns?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar not called a racist?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and drycleaners depressed?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
Why is it, that if someone tells you that there are one billion stars in the universe, you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you have to touch it to be sure?
If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes"?
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
If you throw a cat out the window, is it considered kitty litter?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
If a 7-11 store is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them, would they grow up to be troubled and insecure?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
What's another word for thesaurus?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do people who know the least, know it the loudest?
When it rains, do sheep shrink?
Can a fat person go skinny-dipping?
"I am." is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I Do." is the longest sentence?